I have been dreaming again.

One afternoon of close contact, and I find my eyes, once again, helplessly following your every move.

You never realized, did you?

But your friend did.

I envy that girl who could hold your hand, because I know you would never hold mine.

My fingers were entwined with another, but it not bring warmth and comfort you once offered.

The sense of security, right there in your palms.

I was horrified of myself, horrified and angry, for my weakness and your strength.

I thought I finally achieved it, getting you out of my heart, if not my life.

I thought nothing was remained except for memories, and even those I had shunned away, eager to make new ones, with a new partner.

But I could see no one, no matter the fact that I had stopped staring after you.

Tempus fugit. Even the pain had been gradually forgotten. But apparently, love had not.

I convinced everyone and myself I don't love him, and it's true, in a way.

But how I wish the dreams would come true. Us being friends.

Always I ask myself, why friends? Is there really the need?

And then I would ask, what are YOU trying to prove? You cannot even look me in the eye!

And after all those efforts I've gone through, I am confused all over again.

Do you love me, or do you love me not?

Do I love you, or do I love your not?

That is the question.

But perhaps, better left unanswered.

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