Smile

I'm smiling.

As much as I can, as much as I want. 

This smile used to belong to you, 

you who used to be the reason of its existence.

But now this smile belongs to me

because maybe its existence no longer matters to you.

I'm smile, so I guess I'm relatively happy.

Sure, there's those moments that memories crash in like a tsunami

and drown me in everything that once was my life

But so what?

I'm strong. I'll get used to it.

Damn. I AM getting used to it. 

Tears stopped visiting, 

because I would let them burn in my eyes until they stop trying to get out.

I'm smiling. 

With you, without you

what's the difference?

Okay everything is different

but life goes on,

mine do, yours do

with or without each other. 

So I'm smiling

in front of you, on your back, always smiling

laughing, shouting, joking

because these loud noises

they drown out the promises ringing in my head

they drown out everything you've ever said.