Love & Like

Love and like
it's never the same
love is lots and lots of likes put together
and like is a teeny weeny bit of love

If like is a small portion of love
then puppy love is the pale version of adult love
puppy love does not promise
it does not require commitment

For months I tried persuading myself
my love is not love and mere puppy love
so I could know the pain wouldn't last
so I could hypnotize myself into believing
what we shared between us was childish
and never meant to last

But then deep down I knew I was lying
I still remember that pale, haunted look on my face
remember that helplessness, as if I lost direction in life
I know how my crying nights haunt my sister
I know how much my mom worried over me
only love can hurt this way
and remembering my selfishness
I'd hurt my family by allowing myself to get hurt

But then time came and went
and gradually everything's okay
I wonder if those tears that refused to come
are evidence I am healing
but if it is
why do I still feel suffocated inside?

What if I could never stop loving?
what if everything that went on between us
was never meant to be just puppy love?
what if...what if it's really love?